Procrastination tastes JUST like promises!

Oh my, it has been quite a while since I ever wrote! I knew I was putting it off but... Oct 2008 was my last entry, so much has changed since then! I believe it was Nov 1st when my husband and I found out we were going to have a baby and yesterday, Jan 29 2009, we took the first ultrasound and saw our baby's little legs and tiny heart pumping away. Of course, we always knew it was a girl but since some people can only believe the facts in front of their face, they had to wait for the ultrasound to confirm the gender.
My husband and I were watching "The Matrix: Reloaded" last night and making comparisons to the gospel, as many people do. I mean, there are so many similarities, small and large, how could anyone NOT draw conclusions about certain lines or certain characters and the roles they all play? Everyone has their own ideas I guess. Anyway, something was said in this sequel to the first movie about one's beliefs do not require another person to believe in them in order for them to be true. How true that is! People everywhere look to others for validation and for acceptance, or if not acceptance then some kind of justification to prove that they have a right to believe something that others don't.
People! We do NOT need to buy into what other people think of us when we think something new or different! Our belief is all that much stronger when we stand by it without excuse and without checking to see if everyone is OK with it or not. (I want to point out here, I introduced this topic by saying how religion and the Matrix have similarities but now, when I talk about beliefs, I am no longer talking about religion. I was originally going to make a different point but I couldn't think of the religious topic discussed in the movie and so I moved on to something I really wanted to talk about because it has been bugging me! sorry for the confusing tangent.)
ok, back to supporting our beliefs...
I had a dream last night and it has been bothering me all morning so I know I must write about it. My mom was telling me about a class she's taking and reminded me of the importance of "therapy writing" which is, when something is on your mind- write about it! It will help you to understand how you really feel and get it all out without having to tell it to someone's face and have confusion or hurt as a result. In my dream, a brother of mine came to the house and for some reason we were going to have a prayer- so I asked if he would give it. He figited and kind of mumbled something about "come on you guys, hurry up or we'll be late" -his was of avoiding what I had said. In real life, he does not believe that a woman should take charge of certain things because -yes, husband and wife work together- but it is the man who is the patriarch and has the final say and takes charge over certain events in the household. So, since it was not my husband who asked for a prayer, he hesitates and he figits and waits for the "man" to take over like he should.
This drives me crazy to no end! As a guest, how could he possibly have the right to tell me "my place" inside my own home?! How is that ever right? And besides that, each husband and each wife out there has their own dreams and desires. Put a very unique person together with another and you will get different family values and rules than if you put that same person with someone else entirely. You see it all the time on that t.v. series "wife swap"... what a crazy show. But it proves my point here, which is: Every household has values and rules that WILL be different than yours no matter where you go- and this is within family members too, I mean we were even raised in the same religion and such! So I guess he thinks that since we were raised similar and all that, that something he believes to be the foundation of family should be everyone's same foundation- esp. if they have pretty much the same lifestyle and values.
Now, I am not saying he is wrong. Don't think I am some kind of feminist, saying that the wife should take charge and the husband should not. My belief is that husband and wife have equal but seperate roles in the family- this means that we both have the right to speak for the family and make decisions! Why does he not get that? Does he think I am trying to take over my dear husband and rule the household? No! I just want equal and fair recognition for us both! *sigh* But, I don't want to go on... that would mean I was trying to justify every point of mine and have a one-sided argument with a brother who isn't even present.
I believe that my husband and I have love and respect for one another and we feel good doing things this way. If I ever found out that he was just "going along" with it so I'd be happy, I would never accept living like that- husband and wife should be unified together... as much as possible. He likes things that I don't and I do things he doesn't agree with but for the most part, we still talk things over like adults until we can find middle ground. But, thankfully, I didn't marry a man who is going to pander to my wishes just to make me happy. He is strong-willed like me and that means if he has needs, I can count on him to let me know what they are, instead of having me knowingly or unknowingly walk all over him and lead him by the nose.
Sometimes its hard for me to get what I want across to my husband but I know that it is because he is no push-over and I realize more and more that I could not have survived long with anything less. Any relationship that I get in where the other person says yes to everything I say just because I have a strong, assertive personality- that relationship "can be" pretty great but it wont be as strong (I think, anyway) and it defininetly won't be very fulfilling for me (I know from experience).
Anyway, normally this is something I would save for my journal at home but its easier and faster getting all this out with typing like this. You know what? I've found that some kind of writing is best done typed because of the speed and neatness of it all- and then some of it requires the more natural approach of paper and hand. I want someone to do the research: what kind of writing is more suited to what kind of approach? But then again, maybe its different for every person. I just want people who prefer pen and paper to recognize the usefullness and editing purposes of computer word programs. And the people who prefer typed to recognize the romance and intimacy that can only come from writing with your own hand and using physical work with the pen and paper- its like a relationship. One is more 'useful' and the other is more 'creative'... What do you think?
That's all the drama for now, folks. Sorry I was away for so long. I have TONS of artwork to add, well- maybe not tons but enough to remind me that my procrastination is disguised like a promise, playing like a broken record in my head to make me feel useful by thinking of it but never really get it done. Oh, the cunning tools of the devil! Satan has got hold of my head! hahaha just kidding... Anyway, so I have art to add and lots to blog about our new family of husband, wife and now little baby girl (who still has no name yet...) And let's not forget our trio of daring cats! The adventures of Silly Milo, Grumpy Hannah and Weird Shen coming soon! Hooray.